When life becomes good for a programmer

A young Programmer and his Project Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother. After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks. Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word. The grandmother is thinking to herself, “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him. (more…)

The Top 20 replies by programmers when their programs do not work

20. "That's weird…"

19. "It's never done that before."

18. "It worked yesterday."

17. "How is that possible?"

16. "It must be a hardware problem."

15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"

14. "There is something funky in your data."

13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"

12. "You must have the wrong version."

11. "It's just some unlucky coincidence."

10. "I can't test everything!"

9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT."

8. "It works, but it hasn't been tested."

7. "Somebody must have changed my code."

6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"

5. "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?

4. "You can't use that version on your system."

3. "Why do you want to do it that way?"

2. "Where were you when the program blew up?"

 

And the Number One reply by programmers when their programs don't work:

1. "It works on my machine."

FUN: way of thinking

In Theory, theory and practice are the same…In practice, they are not.

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.

Practice is when something works, but you don't know why.

Programmers combine theory and practice:
Nothing works and they don't know why.

 Laughing

101 Ways To Know Your Software Project Is Doomed

  I found an interesting and funny article on “http://www.codesqueeze.com” which wery surprisingly IS TRUE ALSO FOR THE COMPANY I WORK FOR.

Check it out and ejoy. Its quite funny….

  1. Management has renamed its Waterfall process to Agile Waterfall
  2. You start hiring consultants so they can take the blame
  3. The Continuous Integration server has returned the error message “Fuck it, I give up”
  4. You have implemented your own Ruby framework that uses XML configuration files
  5. Your eldest team member references Martin Fowler as a ’snot-nosed punk’
  6. Your source code control system is a series of folders on a shared drive
  7. Allocated QA time is for Q and A why your crap is broken
  8. All of your requirements are written on a used cocktail napkin
  9. You start considering a new job so you don’t have to maintain the application you are building
  10. The lead web developer thinks the X in XHTML means ‘extreme’ (more…)

Microsoft romance

Son of Bill Gates asks his father:

– Dad, I’d like to try to have sex, what should I do?

– That’s simple,sonny. Just take the biggest car from my garage, dress the best suit you have and take the girl into the most deluxe restaurant in the town. Rent a horse chariot in the evening and take her for a trip around the lake. Buy her the biggest bunch of flowers you can buy. Finally rent a president suite and she’ll be yours.And that’s all.

– But Dad! Where are the romantic walks, grazes, reading of poetry in the moonlight, flirting …

– My boy… all this was invented by the Linux folks so that they can have sex for free